New Beginnings

New Beginnings

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Day twenty without Dad


Dearest Lord,

I am writing you as Andres and I are sitting in the ER at Gila Hospital.  Andres is super sick, round two, with super high fevers and even a delusional state of mind.  He was diagnosed today with the flu, but it just continued to get worse as the night went on.  The girls were scared and their biggest concern was anything happening to their Daddy.  Katie’s heart broke and she just fell apart because the thought of something being wrong with her Daddy, after losing her Papa was more than she could handle.  Brie texted me while I was here and she just misses us being a family of five, more than anything else.  I just glimpsed over at Andres and he looks terrible.  I have never seen him look this way before, over the 18 ½ years that we’ve been together.

Lord, I don’t know what You are allowing come our way, but it’s hard.  We have lost full control of our lives and it just feels like all ground has been removed underneath us.  I am supposed to start a job tomorrow, the girls are going to be out this day or that day, Andres is super ill, we are all grieving the loss of Dad, and the list seems to go on and on.  Maribel left on a plane yesterday for El Salvador, as her mom is dying and though it’s expected, it’s just the timing of it all.  I want to draw my strength from You, and You alone, but I don’t even have strength to draw strength.  It takes energy to do that too. 

Father, this very night, I ask that you be with my family.  Be close to us and see our every move.  Please give us a fresh breath of air and let us refill with some hope and peace that only You can provide.  This is my first letter to You, as I’ve changed my letter writing from Dad, to You.  Be my all in all. 

With love and a desperation for Your presence,

Beth

No comments:

Post a Comment