It stops here. . .

After several weeks of waiting, wondering and even dreaming, we received our answer. The answer is no. It doesn't mean that He wasn't where He needed us or that He wasted our time. It just means that He hasn't revealed His plan. The "no" is still apart of the plan.

Disappointment, a deep sigh, and a feeling of wonder is here, but it's fading quickly. Now, we know we are to stay right here.........looking at the same windows, watching the same cars pass by as they head home after a long day's work, and it's an opportunity. An opportunity to draw closer to family and friends and meet their needs. It means we serve a little harder and also be served. Intrastate phone calls instead of Interstate. A quick drive over instead of a flight. That's all. That's still wonderful!

So, I gear up. I pick up school supply lists. I begin my Spanish lesson plans for the my level 1 and 2 kids. I prepare us for a new school year. AND I still keep my eye open. He's doing His thing, and I want to be found faithful in the waiting.

Today's verse:

Isaiah 30:15

For the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said:
"You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength will lie in quiet confidence..."

Lord, Let me return, rest, and lie in quiet confidence. What a wonderful place to be! Oh..........and help me clean my house today. So much to do........

I love you Lord!

A new kind of swim lesson. . .

No swim lessons for no reason. Not sure why I've waited this summer on giving the girls swim lessons....................UNTIL today!!!

Their big sister has to teach them. If I would've signed them up for lessons, and they were making their way around the pool like two Nemos, then what joy would Brie have in teaching her two little sisters how to trust her in the water. Now they're jumping in the water, with little fear, and true, they have a floatie around them, but it's more than Saturday. Small steps in trusting, both for their big sister in and them. It's worth the risk. One gets to be apart of a family, and then the others get to be free in the water.

Thank you Lord for delayed lessons, and for delivering them in the heat of the morning, in a neighborhood pool, wrapped in love.

Death has lost it's sting. . .

In the past four months, both Andres and I have attended a memorial service for our co-worker's son, both in their early 20's, both born to die, both living with the King.

Yesterday, it was my turn. I was so anxious to see the face of the strong woman that I've known his mother to be. She's no taller than I, but her mind is of extraordinary wisdom and knowledge. Not just book knowledge, but true, meaningful wisdom, given without apology. She's a strong, wonderful woman, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to see her at such a vulnerable state. Would she appear worn down from the two week wait to bury her son? Would she be shaking her fist at God, wondering why? Would she seem numb to her circumstances? Or would she lift her hands in praise that He is still in the moment?

As I turned on the car to make my way, I played the song "Finest Hour" by Matthew West. "This is my finest hour...." If what He says is true, then this is her finest hour. Through death, will come more life. Death has lost it's sting! Death no longer means the end to which we live life, rather the beginning of our eternity. I sang that song very loud for her. In my prayers, I placed her in the hands of her Heavenly Father and gripped my heart for what would come.

As I walked into the foyer of the church, I realized there was a line, leading up to the sweet, strong woman wearing yellow. Yellow? Yellow! To represent the "Son", to represent "joy", to represent the season in which her son's life was called for.

I gave her hug that lasted for a moment's time. I whispered to her that this is her finest hour, and she whispered to me that this is the end of times. "We are living the last days."

On the mountains of Sofia, Bulgaria, he took his last breath. He marveled at the Creator's creation, and fell asleep amongst the arms of trees, clouds, and white snow. He woke up standing before the Creator of such miraculous places and embraced his father, his Heavenly Father.

Father, may we enjoy the laughter of our children, or even the moments of frustration. May we see the mundane chores like filling up our car full of gas, as an opportunity to travel your distances. May we breathe deeply in the morning because you chose to give us another day to commune with our family and friends. May we rejoice over the grass we have to cut, for their is life in that grass or we wouldn't have to cut it. May your Spirit speak to us in every moment we live out.

I love you with all my heart, and I pray the day I take my last breath, more life would be given because of the testimony I live out. May my light shine for you beyond my physical presence. May the girls always assign their mom the color yellow. The color that represents the "Son", and the joy that comes in the morning! May my husband feel full from the life that we lived together. May he never look back and find empty pockets. Thank you for our beginnings!

Two Step. . . sort of . . .

There it was, a buzzing cell phone in my hand with the words "unavailable number". I hurried to the garage, where Andres was heating up the grill, and said, "Here...someone' calling. It might be...." And as soon as that, we found out that Andres made it to round two of interviews. He was being looked at, even closer, for the possible relocation to Arizona. Next step? A possible flight out for a face to face, but we will have to wait for another week or so for that.

Once again, my devotional for the day was so perfect. He doesn't want me to miss the moments.....squander away the day with foreshadowing thoughts. My Spirit reads the words of those pages as if it's a fresh pour of water on life's petals, but my mind gets muddied with the downpour of insecurity. What type of insecurity? The type that says, "How do we really know that this is Him?" even though He's made His mark in ways that I cannot count, just for thoughts like these. Confusion is not from Him, peace is. Confusion is what I feel when I give way to my thinking, but peace is when I think of what He may be doing!

Lord, I pray that I will close the lid to this laptop, take a deep sigh of breath, and feel squeezed as you send me off to bed. it's 11:20 p.m., and there is much to do tomorrow. Three flowers in my garden to tend to, and they all end with "ie". There's broccoli to chop for my Paula Dean broccoli salad, and fruit to scoop. There's prayer to walked through this home before ladies arrive at 7 p.m. with hearts full of emotions. You need me rested and able to enjoy what you have in store for our lives tomorrow. Good night fear, anxious thoughts!! I'm wrapping myself in a blanket of TRUST and REST!!! I love you Lord!

Still waiting...........one week to date since our first interview.

A few things along the way to remind us that He is apart of this process, whether the end result is a "yes" or "no".

Devotional for yesterday, after the night that Andres woke up with the burning question, "Can we really have a "life" in Arizona?" The kind of life where relationships are in abound, where our church home is a place of refuge and strength, where a phone call is never ceasing. That kind of life. Well, I thought, "I'm not sure," I answer. This was the first time we felt this type of question since the "revelation" on the way home from our friend's lake house.

So, early in the morning, before Andres grabbed his lunch to head out the door to see what awaits him, I read my devotional. I would have to look up the scripture later, but for now a good word to leave with would be nice.

"Whenever you start to feel anxious, remind yourself that your security rests in Me alone, and I am totally trustworthy. You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in greater depth. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you MUST stop clinging to old ways."

That started our day off right, and sliced right through the fear that we were having. What were we fearing? Afterall, aren't adventures of life supposed to be exciting and climatic? Depends......if I was going to hike down the Grand Canyon, and had waited for it all my life, it would be an adventure packed full of emotions. Excitement to finally be at "this moment", nervous of what the physical cost was going to be, and a rush of "it's finally here", which undoubtedly would lead to tears for me. Well, that's what we feel right now, and as each day passes, and we're not sure if it is a "yes" or "no", it delays those emotions for yet another day. At the same time, I can hear the Lord telling me to "STOP asking me if we're there yet!? Like mere children in the backseat of a planned out trip, you keep asking me if "we're there yet", and I have so much planned for you when we arrive. ENJOY the views outside your window, eat your snack, drink your coffee, and breathe deeply. We'll be there shortly."

And then, shortly after Andres left, I grabbed my Bible to look up the scripture to the devotional, and it was in Isaiah 43:18-19:

"Do not remember the past events, pay no attention to things of old. LOOK, I am about to do something NEW; even now it is coming. Do you not see it, Andres and Elizabeth? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."

I have read this one before, in fact, it was underlined in a heavy, black ink in my Bible, but the "rivers in the desert part". That meant more to me now then ever before. I called Andres to share the scripture, and he shared that the Lord had taken him back to a part in our trip where we were hugged between two desert mountains, and at the bottom of the these two mountains were a HUGE over growth of vegetation. Papa Sunshine (Papa gave himself an Indian name so he could be an official guide) said that the rivers ran through these two mountains during the monsoon seasons, and it offered enough water to bring life.

So, at the time the Lord was bringing me the words from His Word, He was giving Andres a visual of life in the desert.

So, to answer my beloved's question, "Can we make a life in Arizona?", the answer is "YeS!" We can because He said that He will provide "rivers in the desert", and water brings life. So, as long as we continue to cling to Him and reach out to those around us when/if we move there, then life will abound no matter where we reside.

It's 4:47 p.m. and it's two hours behind in Phoenix, Arizona. I can't help but click "refresh" in my "in-box", but I'm going to try to sit back in my seat, listen to the music He is playing, roll down my window for fresh air, and just enjoy the journey He has us on. I don't want to miss the Texas summer heat, the flowers that are blooming inspite of their overworked roots, the girls watching Strawberry Shortcake, and the freedom to blog my thoughts. Sweet Jesus, how I do love You!!!!

Which way. . .

Since I don't have followers, other than my mom and one other friend, I feel a bit safe in writing some of my thoughts, and journey steps. We haven't shared this with anyone, and will soon enough, but we are oh so close to finding out whether or not we are heading out to Arizona for a new lifetime. A new lifetime of memories, friends, no family, new schools, and so much more. Not sure if we feel sad or adventurous. Not sure if we feel called or just wanting to. Not sure if we don't want to or just feel scared. All I do know is we are keeping our cheek right next to His to hear the next step. Right now, the step is to not step. It's to rest! And wait to see if we get a "second interview".

In the Bible study, "When Godly People Do UnGodly Things", we are talking about seductions. As most readers assume, seduction can be sexual in nature, but we're talking about our sin seductions. What grips us out of the arms of our Heavenly Father and leaves us to mind games, obsessions, and wandering around aimlessly wasting time? My seduction is undoubtedly the desire to stay deep rooted in my physical place. I want the girls to grow up in the same home, same town, going to the same school, worshipping at the same church and seeing the same faces. My Spirit has been desiring something different, yearning to reach out beyond our borders, but my physical self gets sick just thinking about it.

Andres and I are at a crossroads of sorts. He can go this way, and stay "deep rooted", or he can go that way and "uproot". Which is the way? What does the Lord want? I will not know for He will give Andres that direction, and then He will grant me the feelings of "affirmation" of the "confirmation". I love that, and sometimes I don't. I wish the Lord was a texter, so I could just text Him questions, or even times for us to meet up at the coffee shop for an intervention. I love Him so much, and it will never compare to the love He has for me.

So, for now, we wait. We wait for at least a week and either way, we will hear a "yes" or a "no" via e-mail. Prayin' for His answer!! And whatever He leads us to, I will be ever so thankful to His guidance.

With much love, and adoration for our Lord............

Arizona, Friends, and Papa

Where in the world do I begin? Should I begin at the time Dad lost his first born daughter, Nichole Renee, and Dad's promise to follow? Should I begin at March 13, 1977 when I was born to fulfill that promise to Dad? Should I begin at the birth of Katie and her fulfillment of the promise too? Should I start with the evening we were walking our little Katie around the small neighborhood of Fountains of Spring Lake, and ran into the Andersons? Should the story begin with the sweet, sweet times of Bible study that we had just three doors down, and how that began a friendship that will last to the day of our return? And then, continue for eternity. Do I begin in the beginning of Genesis 1:1, when it said that God created the Heavens and the Earth? Surely that included the Grand Canyon, right?

Arizona 2011, a trip Andres and I labeled "life changing". What does that mean in it's entirety? I'm not sure! We're not sure! We're waiting to find out.

We spent 10 wonderful days as a family, making new memories! Not just the picture perfect type of vacation, although I'm tempted to say it was, but the real kind of memories! The kind of memories that take your breath away, teach you a new lesson about life, a visual of God's greatness, splash moments, and just simple moments! The perfect, not-so-perfect, vacation!

We stayed with our very dear friends, Mark and Joey. We love them, as I'm sure they would say they love us too. A special kind of friendship that is glued with God's love right in the middle. Not because we're just alike, look alike, act alike, like the same things, or believe in the same things, but simply because God said it so. He said it so even before He moved them to the southeast side of Mansfield, just at the tip of Joe Pool Lake. We were destined to be life journey families. Our children have been prayed over by Mark and Joey and blessed by them on many of occasion, and we have prayed over the sweet children they have brought into this world. Our heart skips a beat when we see any one of them, as if we've been family all along.

Ten days, and a lot of laughter. Ten days, and some pain. Ten days of enjoying the daily routines of the Andersons (like getting a haircut at Annie's place, or swimming at Momma Davis' house). Ten days, and a whole new landscape. Ten days of the extraordinary and simple. Ten unforgettable days!

We ate breakfast under a grapefruit grove, attended a church service on Saturday night, cooked mass meals, put together puzzles, dressed our girls alike, gave Cade space to be an only guy, giggled late at night while the kids were sleeping, watched a silly movie, walked to the neighborhood park, had dinner in the outdoor mall, attended a baseball game, brushed down a horse, swam with friends, talked about the little things, and pondered the big things, watched a backyard transform, borrowed children for outings, and so, so much more.

Then, a Grand Canyon trip that sucked the breath out of Andres Alonso Perez!!! It was grander than grand, and a massive creation that made us righteously fearful of His works. Who are we, but a small portion of His creation, yet He loves us above all!!??!! Not one portion of His creation, including the Grand Canyon which leaves on breathless, compares to His delight in you and me. That floors me, because if you've never seen the Grand Canyon, it's not just a "hole" in the ground! It's Holy Ground! It's Holy because it obeyed it's Creator and moved right where He wanted it to move. It cracked, formed, and dropped in all the right places. Not one portion of the Grand Canyon was created out of His will!!!!!! Even the Elk that grazed so closely to our car, have been obedient to Him. They move when He says move, they live where He wants them to live, and are the best Elk they can be for their Lord!!! Right up to their velvet antlers!

As if that was not enough, eight days into our trip the door bell rang. Who's there? It's PAPA.............wait..........it couldn't be...............Papa lives down the street in Texas..............wait.....................it IS Papa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Enough to bring all three girls to smiles!


Dad stopped by on day eight. He could hardly stand being in the same town and not seeing the girls. It was like the grand finale of an already beautiful firework display. Dad took us around that following day, and it was nothing short of a miraculous, blessing of an experience. Who cares if those words don't go together in the same sentence!!!! There are no "correct" or "great" words to describe what it felt like to finally be at the place of bringing a lifetime of memories together with the present day. All the old pain and hurt, brought to the place of fulfillment and joy.


We drove through mountains, skipped rocks, laughed as "Papa Sunshine" toured us around, rock climbed, stood still, stood tall, sat down, and a few lap sits as well (Papa and Katie). We heard stories, told stories, and made new stories.



There's not enough "posting" space to describe my heart, thoughts or emotions of this past vacation. I can only pray that I will have the slightest of details in mind as I retail of our experience. Lord, please help me remember my childlike awe of the Mingus Mountain, snow-capped mountains in Flagstaff, the "dream land" that we didn't want to leave as we made our way to the canyon, and so much more!



How deep and wide is your love for me......................for us!!!!!!




I love you Lord!