Brianne is almost 16 years old, Katherine is about to turn 10, and Sofia Margaret is all of 7 years-old. My age, and that of my best friend, are pointless. It would be more important to point out our state-of-mind. Andres is youthful once more, and as he puts it, has become reacquainted with an ol' friend (his mountain bike), and I am still continuing to know the Lord's plan for me in this very moment. I wish I was a quick learner, and a better student at living in the moment, but it's hard. I am happy here, but the joy is lacking. It should not be lacking, rather overflowing with absolute gratitude for where He has placed us.
I have a burnt candle paper, that was used during the midnight candle mass at the monastery behind our home, that is neatly framed. It serves as a reminder to let 2013 burn with all it's sad, harsh memories of pain, and to laugh at the days ahead in 2014. After all, isn't that what the Proverbs 31 Woman did in the pages of scripture? I haven't laughed at my days this year, but I have felt hope and a renewed since of the journey ahead. I understand that my Dad will not be apart of that journey, and forgiveness must be his on this side of heaven. In heaven, he is not only forgiven, but righteous and pure in every sense of the word. The forgiveness to grant, is for my soul on this side, so that I will not be found to blame. I truly feel forgiveness, but I absolutely feel sadness at times. I am learning to forgive, and give freedom to go. Once more, he is free, but the freedom is for me to receive. Uprooted, without a plan, in the sways of the wind that is ever-changing, and at the full mercy of the Father's hands is where I am. It's clear to see where His backwards approach to this earthly system is: what is up is down, and what is down is up. Here, in my flesh, I feel anything but functional, but in Him, I am perfectly woven into His grip and He is delighted. He is thankful for my heart of putty, and finds me ripe for the picking because I do not have a will of where I need to be, rather where does He want me. It's just hard to be in this place at times. This place, meaning the tilled up soil of my uprooted heart. I am longing for a home. A home to nestle, settle, and nest in. A plan that has me on course for a few years, without change. Wait...that's heaven.
Since my last posting, back in April of 2013, we had my mom live with us for a couple of months, family feuds, went through several procedures, two surgeries, healing for six weeks, a runaway child, and a beloved family pet that was clutched into the claws of an owl. Breathe, attack, breathe, attack, breathe.......more like swimming in an ocean of waves.
This year has brought a wind of change. A change of spiritual journey and what it means to be a disciple, in lieu of a Christian. To be a God girl, and not a church girl. To love, whether they love me or not. It has also brought change to mom in her work, living spaces, future possibilities, future residential living in another part of the United States, my career and so much more. The changes are good, but shifting. Change is on the horizon, and what that looks like, I have no idea!
Friends have adopted, friends are now fostering, friends have drifted in/out of our lives, our family has grown in it's bond, minds are molding, hearts are mending, bodies are growing. The church is no longer a place to receive/give services, rather a place to serve. The attendance means nothing, the music is just a bonus, and the messages are a building upon of what has already been read throughout the week. The church is us, and not us in church.
Dog taken, dog adopted, from Annabel Lynn to Molly Anne. From Literacy Link, to prayers of a leadership role. Contentment to commitment and the commitment to contentment. Twenty-four hour escapes to another city for swimming,
laughing, and discovering. Arizona out, New Mexico maybe, the deep
south a yes. Management to engineering, to the unknown. 
Still God is good!
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