Wounded Warrior. . . You and I

Wounded Warrior Project t-shirts surround us, and deep respect for those who have gone into battle.  At times they return with deep scars, both physically and emotionally, and some without limbs.  Whatever the scar, they are our heroes.  They are victorious. 

Around 12:30 a.m. this morning, I was woken to the thought that I am a victor!  I am victorious, and you are too.  We have scars, some deeper than others, and we return from the battles of life as veterans of spiritual war.  We have fought the battles, and though we return with marks that are visible, and some that are hidden to those around us, we can claim victory simply because we are still alive.  And even if our battles took us to death, we are still victorious because we are home.  

I guess the message, at 1:50 a.m. is this.  Why do we try to hide the scars of our heart?  Aren't the scars of our heart an indicator of a previous pain/hurt  has been healed?  Should we not be proud of the great works He has done in our life, whether in the green pastures of peace or in the trenches of pain?  Doesn't this testify to His greatness more than an unscathed heart?  

Scars of faded dreams, failures, divorce, broken relationships, suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism, anger, bitterness, promiscuity, abandonment, rejection, abuse, jealousy, and every other scar that the Father would go to the cross for.  He already won the battle, so that we can too.  Share our scar stories with others, so they can share theirs too.  When we can share, we find victory and others will too.

Intimidated by a long stretch. . .

It's not that complicated.  You know?  The time when the Lord beckons you to a deeper place with Him.  Sure.  It looks different than years in past, but that's the point.  To reach higher.  Grow deeper.  Strengthen. Gain insight. 

How can this happen on the road that runs straight endlessly?  Besides, what enjoyment would you have if this life ran in a straight line, for as far as the eye can see?  No twists and turns.  No ups, nor downs.  No detours, scenic routes, mountain top views, valley bypasses.  Just straight into the horizon, and once you reach the "end", there is only hundreds of more straight miles of road stretched across the plains of life.  

Why is it complicated when He calls us?  I have been struggling.  God is calling me to sit at His table and partake in a fully cooked meal.  No more bottles.  Oatmeal is good, but not for this stage.  Baby carrots were fun, and green beans are yumm, but not when I am ready for the meat of His word.  I am so intimidated.  

Inhale and Exhale Mustard Seeds

Father,

You are beginning a new thing in my life right now.  So many things going on all around me, and I don’t feel like I can even stop to fully inhale and exhale.  To breathe in deeply, feels like I will inhale the true pain and confusion around me, as to almost accept the circumstances.  So, I breathe shallow, and yet so hopeful that You will see me through this one more time.  But, I realize that without a full inhale, can never come the exhale.  The exhale brings about another breath, which allows for life.  Father, help me inhale all that is around me.  The tears from disappointment, the pounding of my heart of anxiousness, and even disappointments.  Help me not to be afraid to breathe deeply, so that I may exhale You and receive life.  Help me not suffocate my spirit, into thinking that I can merely exist until You call me home.  Merely existing is not what you have designed me for.  You have provided this shell and soul with so many life giving attributes, and to merely walk around until You stop my inhale/exhale motion, is death in motion. 

The size of a mustard seed

 Father, I yet to understand all that You have been doing over the past two years, and honestly, I have not fully laid down my anxious heart as to what lies ahead, but I do have a portion of hope.  And Jesus said, "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. (Matthew 17:20 HCSB) Here is the size of a mustard seed that will produce a thunderous movement in creation, if I only believe.  So, Lord with at least this amount of faith, I come to You.  Expecting. Hoping. Desiring for so much more than I could even pray for.  

The Last Word. . . 19 Months Later

Dad and Sofia Margaret.  He loved the granddaughters.  And.....they adored their Papa.

Dad and Katie during our visit to Arizona.  He surprised us, and then took us on an adventure

Pain hits. Whether we are ready or not.Found this devotional 19 months later, in my "inbox" in an old e-mail account, from my Dad the night he committed suicide. I did not know he sent this to my mother and I,   until August 31, 2014. How do you get past such pain and hurt, and then to only turn around to more pain and hurt?  You don't.  The Lord does. Seeking His face, in the details that grip our hearts.  Trusting Him with that which we face in the moment.  Letting go, so He can do something new.  So, I "publish" as to capture the profound message that my Dad took with him.  Sent to me, his daughter, at 8:48 p.m., moments before he would go to meet the Lord.  Father, heal our broken hearts, tender places, and moments of grieving. Mend, massage, and provide new memories. 

"Little" Joshs' graduation from the Air Force.  San Antonio, Texas.

Day 4 of 21....beaches to consider

Good morning Lord,

Going into the second week of consistent running, and it feels great.  Someone said a few weeks ago, and I wish I could remember where, that we ought to be "healthy" not for a number (for that will change all the time), not for a size (because these change based on the brand of clothing), not for an event (that's a one time thing), nor for a swim suit for vacation (as it just never happens in time).  Rather, choosing healthy options to simply bring Him glory, to be available for whatever He calls us to, or just being alive fully in our bodies.  So, with that, I put on my running shoes and have been waking up (and returning to bed when I get home) at 4:45, having Andres drop me off at the McDonald's down the street, and running back with my 16 year-old daughter.  

It feels amazing!  The wind, the sounds, the rhythm of our feet pounding the pavement as we press on.  Pressing on with a different goal in mind.........life!!  Not the goal of numbers, sizes, for what the world wants to see, but to simply breathe deeper and ponder the things of Him while we run.  I must put a statement at this point.  We are not even running for the perfect time, nor for the admirable distance.  We just run, and run, and run.  We keep personal stats, never to be compared and not even "shared" on Facebook.  We just check our own.

Day 3 of Finding Spiritual Whitespace mentioned something that has me in a blanket of awe.  It's simple in thought, but complex in creation.  Here is an exert:

"With every turning wave, God slowly pushes grains of sand onto the shore. For countless number of moonlit turns, God took the time to sweep soft land, so that you and I can walk barefoot. . ."

It is beyond my comprehension to think He would purposefully softened the land that slides up to the edges of the water, so that we could feel the soothing sand particles on our feet, or run into the ocean waters with the free spirit of a child, maybe even find this place as a solid time out from the world.  To think of all the ways we enjoy the ocean waters and soft sand, and how disappointing it is when we drive along a shoreline that does not offer a friendly place to walk into the cold tides, has never crossed my mind.  I simply saw it as a day of creation, when our Lord split the dry land and water.  

Thank you Lord for providing a place to rest, find seashells, listen to the evening tides, run with our children, build castles only to be dreamed of in fairy tales, read a good book, laugh with our spouse, or even bury our spouse, and to simply experience a reprieve from the every day workings of life.  Your purposes for creation, were not to simply provide food and shelter, but REST!  I do thank you for the food of the sea, and the protection of shaded trees on land, but I am learning to love, accept, and receive REST.  Rest, even when I am going.  

Day 2 of 21

Day 2 of 21:

Hmmm......a bit hard to understand, and yet a little too on target.  A few exerts from faithbarista.com, Day 2 challenge.

rest is one of only three ambitions that God explicitly calls out in the Bible. The other two are preaching the gospel and pleasing God. (Rom15:20, 2Cor5:9)

It’s easier to be functional rather than soft and tender.

We wouldn’t want to let anyone down.

Maybe we’re afraid if we took time out for quiet rest, soothing moments, we might realize how much we’ve put our hearts to the side.

The prompting question(s) for today are:

How do like to enjoy a quiet moment?  

With a time schedule that is not dictated.  Knowing that I have a time schedule on the quiet moments, create a feeling of anxiousness.  In an odd kind of way, I end up counting down the quiet moment time, when I know it will end at a specific time.  If I am free to "take my time", then I can relax and receive what the Lord may have for me, and it usually doesn't take that long.  Freedom to rest!

What encourages or discourages you from enjoying a quiet moment?

Encouraged quiet moments come with a freedom to enjoy the moment however I may feel at the time.  Sometimes it is through a quiet drive through God's creation, other times it is sitting quietly in a coffee shop.  

Discouraging quiet moments are always filled with expectations of what I need/should do during the quiet moment and if there is a definite time schedule to make it come to an end. 

What He says . . .

• Matthew 11:28-30

  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
  
  

• Revelation 6:11

  Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed.

• Genesis 2:2-3

  By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.  And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.
  
  

• Exodus 20:8-10

  "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.  Six days you shall labor and do all your work,  but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates.
  
  

• Isaiah 14:3-4

  On the day the LORD gives you relief from suffering and turmoil and cruel bondage,  you will take up this taunt against the king of Babylon: How the oppressor has come to an end! How his fury has ended!
  
  

• Psalm 55:6

  I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest--
  
  

• 2 Corinthians 2:13-14

  I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I said good-by to them and went on to Macedonia.  But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.
  
  

• Mark 6:31

  Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."
  
  

• Psalm 127:2

  In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-- for he grants sleep to those he loves.
  
  

• Mark 2:27

  Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
  
  

• Mark 6:32

  So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.
  
  

• Psalm 4:8

  I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
  
  

• Exodus 23:12

  "Six days do your work, but on the seventh day do not work, so that your ox and your donkey may rest and the slave born in your household, and the alien as well, may be refreshed.
  
  

• Exodus 33:14

  The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
  
  

• Isaiah 26:3

  You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
  
  

• Isaiah 57:1-2

  The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.
  
  

• Psalm 23:1-6

  The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,  he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
  
  

• Psalm 37:7

  Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
  
  

• Hebrews 4:9-11

  There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God;  for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his.  Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.
  
  

• John 16:33

  "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
  
  

• Philippians 4:6-7

  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.