Intimidated by a long stretch. . .

It's not that complicated.  You know?  The time when the Lord beckons you to a deeper place with Him.  Sure.  It looks different than years in past, but that's the point.  To reach higher.  Grow deeper.  Strengthen. Gain insight. 

How can this happen on the road that runs straight endlessly?  Besides, what enjoyment would you have if this life ran in a straight line, for as far as the eye can see?  No twists and turns.  No ups, nor downs.  No detours, scenic routes, mountain top views, valley bypasses.  Just straight into the horizon, and once you reach the "end", there is only hundreds of more straight miles of road stretched across the plains of life.  

Why is it complicated when He calls us?  I have been struggling.  God is calling me to sit at His table and partake in a fully cooked meal.  No more bottles.  Oatmeal is good, but not for this stage.  Baby carrots were fun, and green beans are yumm, but not when I am ready for the meat of His word.  I am so intimidated.  

Inhale and Exhale Mustard Seeds

Father,

You are beginning a new thing in my life right now.  So many things going on all around me, and I don’t feel like I can even stop to fully inhale and exhale.  To breathe in deeply, feels like I will inhale the true pain and confusion around me, as to almost accept the circumstances.  So, I breathe shallow, and yet so hopeful that You will see me through this one more time.  But, I realize that without a full inhale, can never come the exhale.  The exhale brings about another breath, which allows for life.  Father, help me inhale all that is around me.  The tears from disappointment, the pounding of my heart of anxiousness, and even disappointments.  Help me not to be afraid to breathe deeply, so that I may exhale You and receive life.  Help me not suffocate my spirit, into thinking that I can merely exist until You call me home.  Merely existing is not what you have designed me for.  You have provided this shell and soul with so many life giving attributes, and to merely walk around until You stop my inhale/exhale motion, is death in motion. 

The size of a mustard seed

 Father, I yet to understand all that You have been doing over the past two years, and honestly, I have not fully laid down my anxious heart as to what lies ahead, but I do have a portion of hope.  And Jesus said, "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. (Matthew 17:20 HCSB) Here is the size of a mustard seed that will produce a thunderous movement in creation, if I only believe.  So, Lord with at least this amount of faith, I come to You.  Expecting. Hoping. Desiring for so much more than I could even pray for.